one liners

I laughed so loud I pooped myself.....

one liners

Postby allyhope2010 » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:31 pm

I said to my mother, "Mother, I'm going to the fairground". She said "are you going to go on the ghost train?"

I said "no....im gonna go on the bus!"

(Tim Vine)
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Re: one liners

Postby SteveAdmin » Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:18 pm

Nice Ally, nice!

Could this be a new outlet for the friday joke? :lol:
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Re: one liners

Postby allyhope2010 » Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:43 am

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?........DAM!

I'll let that answer your question mate!
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Re: one liners

Postby SteveAdmin » Mon Dec 07, 2009 5:04 pm

I shamelessly stole this one off a mate but I love it:

When I was in the butchers today I was offered 8 legs of venison for £40 - is that too deer?
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Re: one liners

Postby allyhope2010 » Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:13 pm

Talking of butchers, I was in my local butchers the otherday...

he said to me, I bet you can't reach those two joints of beef hanging up there...

I said I'm not playing, the steaks are too high!!!!!
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Re: one liners

Postby allyhope2010 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 7:49 pm

Hey cress, so I went to the doctors this morning.... he said "Sir, you are going to have to stop masterbating!!!",

I said "Why??!!!"

He said "Because I'm trying to give you an examination dammit!!!"


I thank you
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Re: one liners

Postby SteveAdmin » Tue Jan 26, 2010 11:33 pm

Genius - I love em!
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Re: one liners

Postby allyhope2010 » Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:49 pm

On a more serious note, WD40...amazing stuff! I swear the squeek has completely gone....

only problem is my sisters guinae pig just lies there lifeless now....
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Re: one liners

Postby SteveAdmin » Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:23 pm

Seen as St Valentines day is just around the corner I thought I would share with you all this beautiful romantic poem which never fails to get me a woman for valentines:

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Ive got a Knife

Now get in the Van
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Re: one liners

Postby allyhope2010 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:06 pm

So anyway, there are these two fish in a tank and one says to ther other one, "Know how to drive this bloody thing?"....
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