one liners

[allyhope2010]

I said to my mother, "Mother, I'm going to the fairground". She said "are you going to go on the ghost train?"

I said "no....im gonna go on the bus!"

(Tim Vine)

[SteveAdmin]

Nice Ally, nice!

Could this be a new outlet for the friday joke?

[allyhope2010]

What did the fish say when it hit the wall?........DAM!

I'll let that answer your question mate!

[SteveAdmin]

I shamelessly stole this one off a mate but I love it:

When I was in the butchers today I was offered 8 legs of venison for £40 - is that too deer?

[allyhope2010]

Talking of butchers, I was in my local butchers the otherday...

he said to me, I bet you can't reach those two joints of beef hanging up there...

I said I'm not playing, the steaks are too high!!!!!

[allyhope2010]

Hey cress, so I went to the doctors this morning.... he said "Sir, you are going to have to stop masterbating!!!",

I said "Why??!!!"

He said "Because I'm trying to give you an examination dammit!!!"


I thank you

[SteveAdmin]

Genius - I love em!

[allyhope2010]

On a more serious note, WD40...amazing stuff! I swear the squeek has completely gone....

only problem is my sisters guinae pig just lies there lifeless now....

[SteveAdmin]

Seen as St Valentines day is just around the corner I thought I would share with you all this beautiful romantic poem which never fails to get me a woman for valentines:

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Ive got a Knife

Now get in the Van

[allyhope2010]

So anyway, there are these two fish in a tank and one says to ther other one, "Know how to drive this bloody thing?"....